Beauty Pageants, Amy Willerton and the I'm a Celeb Jungle.

Amy Willerton on the I'm a celebrity jungle seems to have really sparked up the age old debate about beauty and beauty pagents.  Today I was watching 'Loose Women' (as you do) and was taken back at the negative things some of the ladies had to say about beauty pagents.  Along with watching last nights episode of I'm a Celebrity get me out of here really got me thinking.   Is something wrong with celebrating beauty? and is it the beauty of some causing others to feel insecure partly to blame for this negativity?

I have been a model for 10 years and along with this I co organised the Miss Great Britain Beauty  pageant when Danielle Lloyd was the winner and for a few years after that.  So I feel like I have been on both sides of the fence.


I am also very passionate about empowering young women and hope to one day be a role model for them to feel beautiful no matter what their size, shape or hair colour. 

I ask you, is the problem really with beauty pageants or is it that we are comparing ourselves to the women in the pageants and the pictures we see in magazines and of celebrities?  Is it not that we are failing to be empowered and have self confidence instilled in us from a young age? We see our friends/parents criticing themselves and the way they look but telling us to feel confident and that we are perfect the way we are, surely we should be practicing what we preech and leading by example?

So is focusing on things like beauty pageants  helpful? If pageants were banned would all of our insecurities suddenly melt away? Would the eating disorders in young girls and boys stop? Would plastic surgery fail to exist?

Isn't being able to recognise beauty without it making us feel insecure a better goal than trying in vain to ban beauty pageants and therefore inadvertedly saying you can not celebrate your beauty?


I know from my own experience one day I will feel great about myself go out wearing no makeup and be happy to sit with a group of glammed up gorgeous friends without feeling insecure, another day I would find this prospect attrocious. 

In this particular instance, surely it is not Amy's fault that she is beautiful and therefore causing others like Rebecca Adlington to feel bad about themselves?

Comments from Rebbeca like "she doesn't know what its like on a day to day basis she is stunning" and "she is stick thin, got theses push up bras that make her boobs seem massive , shes absolutely beautiful, its just one of those things that we are promoting that way of being that way and its like why not just be a normal girl"

The thing is we are all normal no matter how we look. Millions adorn their bodies with tattoos just like millions wear push up bras and hair extensions.

There will always be beautiful people in this world with or without beauty pageants.  Don't we need to work on our self confidence and inner beauty to be able to say that dress looks amazing on your tiny waist without it making us feel bad?

I am very intersted to hear all your comments and thoughts on this.

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My Thoughts | Healthy Female Role Models

Recently I have been feeling a lot of pressure to go to the gym, eat right, look 'perfect' you know the usual. And although I am slim I think that no matter what size you are most women are critical of their body shape. Due to my circumstances at the moment it is harder for me to exercise and be the shape I usually am so I am being really hard on myself. But you know what.. I deserve a break! 

It is ok to work out and eat right to be a certain size as long as it is healthy and as long as your attitude is healthy. If you start thinking that you are only ok with yourself if you are a particular size and anything else means that you are not ok with yourself, I personally don't think this attitude is particularly healthy. It doesn't leave you any wiggle room and quite frankly means a lot of the time you will have low confidence and be unhappy with yourself. Constantly feeling pressure to remain the same or get back in to your jeans. I just feel that this is not a recipe for a happy life.

So with this in mind I started searching for some inspirational  pictures of women and to my horror all I came across were hundreds of posts supposedly for 'inspiration' with pictures of women like this. Please note that I have intentionally not included this picture in my post and linked it instead because I don't want it associated with my post. 

After seeing all these pictures it just made me feel worse about myself. And I did not want to do a post with pictures like that. I mean how is that suppose to make you feel better, seeing pictures of woman with immaculately tones figures, super flat stomachs and the pertest bottoms you have ever seen?

Because, I want to remind myself that I don't have to be stick thin or perfectly toned to be beautiful and being what ever way I am is beautiful and feminine! Even if that means love handles and tighter than normal jeans. Ask a man what he thinks is more attractive and he will undoubtedly say the females below.

So I want to share with you my inspirations of beautiful women who I think look amazing! 

>Please note that these are just a selection of women who I think have beautiful bodies. I am not saying you have to be this size or that size to be beautiful, women of all sizes are undoubtedly beautiful! I also want to add that I am not saying the woman in the picture I linked to is not ok the way she is, I am saying for me that is not a healthy size or aspiration for my body.

Love Always

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Beauty Really is in the Eye of the Beholder!

 

I just saw this video on futurefreaksme blog. It is essentially an advert by Dove. Yet it really triggered something in me emotionally and got me thinking... 

Why is it that as women we see ourselves so differently to the way others see us?

If I had been one of the women in that video I would have described myself as having a long face, small smile, thin lips, big forehead and big chin. I have always been a harsh critic of myself. A lot of this stems from the bullying I received as a child for the way I looked. Not that I looked strange, in fact when I look at pictures of myself I see a small, cute little red head but at the time I hated myself. This is pretty much the same for most of the periods in my life. Even if I look at pictures from 6 months ago, at the time I may not have thought I looked nice; too fat, too skinny, too this too that but when I look back I see something completely different.

I sat listening to these women describing themselves. I was literally shouting at the screen saying "that is not true!! you are so beautiful". Upon actually hearing myself saying these things, what I realised was that in fact I was talking to myself. I need to listen to my own thoughts about those women and accept the words myself... 

"that is not true!! you are so beautiful"

So how does it make sense for me to continue with the negative opinions and beliefs I have about myself when I am shouting at the screen to these ladies that their descriptions of themselves are so wrong?

The truth is that I wish I could love myself more and I try everyday. This video has made me see that actually I am not alone in the way I see myself. All these other women feel the same. This gives me strength and courage to try and like even a tiny bit of myself.

I really think that as women we all deserve to love ourselves and there is nothing wrong with that. People say 'nobody is perfect' but actually I think every one of us is perfect... Our flaws make us perfect. Because Nature doesn't make mistakes, we are all exactly how we are suppose to be.

All my love

Bloggers... do you care about followers? I do!

The funny thing is I first titled this post "Blogging... things I have learned and how to promote yourself" and I think you will see it has turned it to something completely different. A post full of positivety, I hope :-)

I have seen a lot of bloggers say that they don't care how many people read their blog or how many followers that they have. And maybe they don't but, Well the truth is I do care... there I said it. I care. If my hit counter says 1 or 100 it does affect me. 

I started my blog like all others talking (or typing rather) and not knowing who if anybody was listening. I waited and waited hoping to login and see a comment from somebody, anybody just so that I would know I wasn't alone. It took months until I got my first one and even then it was more of a link bump than a 'real comment'.  But I had to keep going, some of these words I just had to get out. I needed to focus on something else for a while, something away from my 'real life' and do you know what it helped, it was a distraction and I believe blogging is really helping me get through one of the toughest times in my life. 

It isn't blogging alone getting me through, but the community. Having something in common with all of these other people. I have always found it very difficult to make friends and I think as you get older it becomes more so. Bloggers are supportive, helpful and caring towards each other. Put up a post saying that you are feeling down and no doubt you will have many comments wishing you well. Put up a post saying that you are happy sharing some good news and no doubt you will have comments congratulating you on your happiness.  It is this support from other bloggers that is so special.

Reading about problems others are facing which I can relate to helps me so much too. It gives me courage to share my own story and opinions. It makes me feel like I am not alone. And being lonely is the worst feeling in the world to me.


I have always been shy about sharing my true feelings and opinions.  I didn't want to be singled out or to be seen as 'different' if I gave my opinion, I was afraid of what people would think of me. I so badly wanted to fit in and at the same time I wanted to be special, different (I think this is something that caused me a lot of problems... but thats another story for a different day). 

Blogging has opened me up. It is making me less afraid of telling the truth and saying my own opinions. Hell if I can announce them to the bloggosphere for anyone to read.  Surely I can speak up if I don't like carrots (I do by the way).

So if I am sharing all this with the interweb then I do hope that somebody else is reading and that maybe just maybe some of the things I have shared might help them too.

The thing is that anybody can be a blogger no matter who you are or where. As long as you have internet access and a computer device, the blogging world is your oyster. There are blogs about beauty, animals, fences, farms and food. So if you have an interest there will be a blog about it. This is what makes it so special. You really can find others who care and share about the same things you do.

So that is the truth, I do care if others are reading my blog, and I am not ashamed to admit it. I want them to read and comment and communicate with me via instagram and twitter. It makes me happy.

So thank you blogging for giving me so much. It may sound cheesy but its true and that is my opinion :-)

It would be lovely to hear how blogging has helped or not hepled you...

love

Want to know what it's Really like to be a model? Victoria's Secret model Cameron Russell Speaks & My Views

Victoria's Secret model Cameron Russell has recently spoken very honestly at a Ted conference about modelling.

It is extremely rare to hear a model, especially one who is at the peak of their career, speak so openly about modelling in this way. For the most part it is known that you don't say negative comments about people or situations in the industry, the fear is that it will lead you to miss out on jobs and that people wont hire you. So to hear this is a breath of fresh air and desperately needed. 

How many models have you heard of say anything negative about their industry?

In fact I believe we need a lot more of the truth so that all these young girls who dream of being models at least know the reality of the industry and not just the dream and image presented to them. 

Maybe then they will choose another career option or at least they will not be so unhappy and surprised when they realise that being on the cover of a newspaper doesn't cure your insecurity or give you a ticket to lifelong happiness. That the smiling model they see in Marie Claire looking so perfect and happy is a creation and not a reality.

Cameron even chose to show pictures of herself in 'reality' next to pictures 'created' at certain times in her life. See below:

Cameron Russell pictures used at Ted

As a girl who has also modelled for nearly 10 years and faced some awful situations and blows to my self esteem and confidence I felt what she had to say was very powerful. I think it is so important to separate 'reality' from advertising and composed images.

I agree, seeing yourself in an advert doesn't often make you beem with excitement and joy but it can make you critise yourself and look at ways you could look better. Partly because there are often people telling you these things so you get used to thinking that way about yourself. The unsaid when you don't land the job you casted for, thinking why? Was it my hair, my nose, my stomach.  You feel like you aren't good enough.

"I am insecure because I have to think about what I look like everyday. If you are ever wondering if I have thinner thighs and shinnier hair will I be happier? You just need to meet a group of models because they have the thinnest thighs and the shinniest hair and the coolest clothes and they are the most physically insecure women probably on the planet" - Cameron Russell

One thing I really hated was castings and always will. I was self conscious, shy and very naiive. You can't help but sit and compare yourself to the other girls waiting to go in. If somebody said something about the way I looked I took it very personally and believed what the 'authority' figure said. If you want that career you don't have any choice you can't say well F**k them I think I look great because you want the job so badly. You need it to survive.

Being fearless is being honest and here is me being honest.

Modelling isn't for everyone sure it can be good to hear your friends and family praise you and say how good you looked but when you don't feel it yourself it doesn't make much difference. In your head you know those aren't the people who are going to give you your next pay cheque. The sad thing is that when my family would tell me I was looking too thin I would think to myself, yes maybe here but not in 'my' world (the modelling world).

Pic Left me messing around | Right LA fashion week

It can be demoralising and lonely. Sure there have been times that I have enjoyed. When you are on the catwalk and everyone is looking at you and taking pictures you feel powerful and special. Those are the moments in between.

I am proud of what I have done but if I have a daughter one day and she wants to be a model I don't think I would be jumping out of my chair in excitement.

See the speech here

I Would love to hear your thoughts on this ladies x

Victim of the online shopping revolution or failure to move with the times?

It is indeed very sad to see much loved British stores like HMV, Jessops and blockbuster going in to liquidation.

With the latest victim being clothing store Republic. It got me thinking.

Are these stores simply a victim of the online revolution or a victim of not moving forward with the times quickly enough?

What do you think?

Places I Would Love to Visit Friday | 1

I have decided to start a new Friday blogging ritual named "Places I would love to visit Friday". It can be a restaurant, a hotel, an island... so starting with my very first one...

... how exciting!!!

I have been admiring this beautiful location for years. It has so many things I love roled in to one snow, wrapping up warm, huskies, beautiful scenery, sledding, horse trails, skiing the list goes on.

To spend the night at ICEHOTEL is an experience - and not like any other hotel stay. You sleep in a thermal sleeping bag on a bed built by ice blocks, a wooden frame, mattress and it is topped with reindeer skins. Surrounded by art work made of ice and snow, by artists from all over the world. In the morning you will be awakened with a cup of hot lingonberry juice. - Sounds amazing!!

 

 You can even get married there!

 

Not only is Icehotel a beautiful place to visit, it is a remarkable feat of workmanship. It melts and is rebuilt every year! Truly Amazing.

           

www.icehotel.com

Have you or anyone you know been there?

A little girls freedom to choose... What do you think?

I wanted to share something Jada Pinkett Smith posted on her facebook wall, which I found so incredibly touching...

Willow Smith & Jada Pinkett Smih
Urgh so gorgeous!

**A letter to a friend...

This subject is old but I have never answered it in its entirety. And even with this post it will remain incomplete.

The question why I would LET Willow cut her hair. First the LET must be challenged. This is a world where women,girls are constantly reminded that they don't belong to themselves; that their bodies are not their own, nor their power or self determination. I made a promise to endow my little girl with the power to always know that her body, spirit and her mind are HER domain. Willow cut her hair because her beauty, her value, her worth is not measured by the length of her hair. It's also a statement that claims that even little girls have the RIGHT to own themselves and should not be a slave to even their mother's deepest insecurities, hopes and desires. Even little girls should not be a slave to the preconceived ideas of what a culture believes a little girl should be. More to come. Another day.

J**

When I read this I cried. I felt so strongly that this is right. 
That We should be empowering young girls to believe that their body and minds belong to themselves.

That they are powerful and precious, that they have value and are special no matter what colour their hair.

In a world where women are a slave to looking perfect, where girls as young as 6 or 7 have eating disorders. We need to challenge the views set upon these little girls and us by society or perhaps even their mothers in some instances.

Then maybe just maybe we as women will allow our unique qualities to shine. We wont be afraid of what everyone thinks of us and indeed we wont be trying to please others at the expense of ourselves.

Maybe the world will be a more creative place?

Just an amazing statement from Jada and I salute her!

What do you all think, is she right? Should we allow our little girls the freedom to make their own choices?

Do you stop yourself from cutting your hair/doing what you want to do for fear of what others will think?

Much love and happiness Ashly xxx

The Celebrity Secret to being Healthy, Skinny, Happy!

I recently read a very interesting post by Retro-Chick here and it really got me thinking.

Why are we all so obsessed with other peoples issues and flaws(in this case their body weight) instead of accepting our own?

Me
I have been thin my whole life. My mother is very thin, her mum is the same way. Yet I have struggled most of my teenage/adult life with others commenting negativity about my appearance.

"What do you eat" "you can't be that slim naturally" "your boobs must be fake" "you are too slim" "you need to eat more".... and the list goes on. All of these comments really upset me and made me think that there was in fact something wrong with the way I looked. Maybe I shouldn't look this way?

It was like they thought I had some huge secret and just wasn't telling... I didn't!

In my experience the people who commented on my appearance seemed to think it was ok to do so because I was slim, yet they wouldn't be saying "you are too fat", "you need to eat less" if it was the other way around. Maybe they wouldn't want to know the secret to being over weight?

I, like any woman, have struggled with who I am and the way I look which includes issues with my weight. Most of these have been linked to how I feel inside and not to do with wanting to be thinner. In fact I have always struggled to put on weight.

But there is a bigger issue here for me...

Because of the way I look people assume I am happy. There have been so many times in my life when I have felt completely the opposite but because of my appearance people struggle to accept that. I have been crying out for help and support yet it has gone unnoticed.

I have gone the other way and stopped wearing make up, stopped doing my hair and wearing nice clothes. Just for people to see how I really felt inside.  I realise this is the wrong thing to do. But when I am unhappy I feel like a fraud all dressed up. And I just want to hide and for nobody to notice me.

Now I find it easier to ask for help when I feel down but even when I am at my lowest, I still feel this huge pressure to pretend my life is perfect when I know it is not. So Why?

The secret

I think part of the problem is the image that celebrities promote about this 'secret'.  This huge 'secret' to health, success, beauty, youth and happiness. Something that makes them special and different, almost like they are super natural...

It keeps a divide between them and the rest of the world.

So do you want to know what this huge secret is?

Drum roll...

The secret is... 

there is no secret!

How annoying is it when you read about a celebrity who was 2 stone heavier last year protesting they eat what they want and haven't been on a diet. You are like 'ok whats their secret?'. But of course it is rubbish. In fact if they told the truth don't you think we would all be a little clearer on reality? Instead we believe that there is some massive secret to being slim or being healthy and because we don't know what it is we aren't as special or as great as them.

Let me tell you something; most celebrities have an abundance of help from chefs to make up artists, dieticians, yoga teachers, beauticians, agents, pr and the list goes on. There is probably more effort put in to their 'image' as there is to their actual work. All to give off this impression of perfection. I don't blame them or anybody else. This is the machine that has been created, it keeps the money coming in, it creates this divide between the 'celebrity world' and the rest of us. Making them appear different, special. And don't we all want to be seen as special?

There seems to be this huge fear that if we all knew that Celebs and movie stars are just the same as you and me, maybe we wouldn't be so interested in their lives. The industry goes to huge lengths to keep 'this secret'.

God forbid we find out that our favourite Hollywood hottie is not perfect!

Imagine that... there are people paid millions of pounds to hide the celebrities flaws; their affairs, their gambling addiction, their drink driving convictions, their father in prison, their eating disorder, their diet, their 6th toe, What ever it may be.

But the truth is we are all the same. None of us are perfect, we are all flawed! No matter how much money is spent concealing them, they are there and always will be..

Our flaws are what make us real, are what make us interesting and are what make us, us!

So lets embrace our flaws. Lets sing from the roof top about our spots, our love handles, our obsessions, our secrets, our hopes, our dreams, our truth!

Maybe if we do this we won't feel so much pressure and stress to appear perfect...

I know it isn't easy, in fact it is surprisingly difficult to just admit... I am flawed! But there it is people... the truth and do you know what? I feel so much better for saying it :-)

Love and happiness

Ashly xxxxxx