Tuesday, 4 February 2014

Feel the Fear and Do it Anyway February

Hi ladies and gents, today is a very different type of post for me. In fact I have never broached this subject before.  The reason I am writing this post is because it is something that effects me daily and I think it can effect us all at different times in different ways.

After posting about my Detox, I found that not only did it really help me stick to it because I felt like if I didn't I would be letting you all down and I don't want to do that, I also got lots of messages saying how it inspired others to do the same and stick to theirs.  So maybe if I write about this subject it will help in this area too!

You might be thinking ok what is she talking about, so I will get to it...

noun: fear; plural noun: fears
an unpleasant emotion caused by the threat of danger, pain, or harm.
"I cowered in fear as bullets whizzed past"
synonyms:terror, fright, fearfulness, horror, alarm, panic, agitation, trepidation, dread, consternation, dismay, distress; More

The type of fear I am talking about is the one which holds you back from new opportunities and experiences, when you say no to attending a meet up because of the thought of so many new people you don't know, when you don't pick up the phone and make that call about a new job because well what if they say you're not what they are looking for?

For years I have had this fear living inside me never sure of what it was, I just knew that certain things scared me and made me feel vulnerable and unsafe. Often I would avoid these people or situations. Now I realise that this is a form of anxiety.

The reason I am writing this post is because I am sick and fed up of being contained by this fear, I have well and trully had enough! 

The biggest part of it for me is worrying about what people will think, pre-empting what they will say and taking on those feelings inside myself. Even though half of the time I am actually wrong.

So with all this in mind I am christening this month of 2014 Feel the Fear and do it anyway February!!

My Plan of Action

1. Make every phone call I am 'thinking' about making
Throughout the day there are probably at least 5-10 calls I 'think' about making. Sadly that is as far as it has gone in the past, thinking. This in itself creates more fear, then anxiety because I haven't done what I was meant to. Then come the feelings of low self esteem. Oh golly what a visious circle!

I vow to my readers and myself that every time I 'think' about making a phone call I will act on it at that moment or put a specific time in my diary to do it. Once it is in the diary it HAS to be done, those are the rules people!
2. Ask for what I need
How often do you need help with something but instead of asking trudge on trying in vain to do it yourself, wouldn't it have been so much easier just to ask? 

I vow to my readers and myself that when I need help with something or I need a number/email address of somebody I am trying to contact I will just ASK! (note to self: It really isn't that difficult)

3. Say/Write what I am thinking
Am I the only one that can over think that I am writing or going to say? "what if the other person thinks it is wrong or doesn't agree with me"? So what, I say to that... 

I vow to my readers and myself that I will say and write what I am thinking. Starting with my new pinterest board called "F*** Fear in the Face"!!!  We live in a world full of differences and opinions that is why we all have a mind of our own, otherwise we might as well be procreating robots!

4. Make fear a source of fascination.
I read that accepting your fear and becoming fascinated by it is a sure fire way to conquer it.  

I vow to my readers and myself that I am going to find out everything I can about the source of my fear. Where does it come from? Why does it have so much power? Essentially I will become friends with it. Kind of like I did with my anxiety, I said "listen anxiety if you are going to be around for a while we might as well be friends"!

5. Celebrate my victories
I think it is really important to applaud yourself when you take a positive step. It gives you the determination to take another step, then another.

I vow to my readers and myself that I am going to become my own biggest cheerleader, applaud every step I take big or small. I will even treat myself to little prizes along the way! #loveyourselffirst

I would LOVE to hear your thoughts on this. Does anyone else feel like this? Does Fear hold you back at all? Do you suffer from anxiety?

Ashly xx

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  1. Great post chick, I definitely have this problem in certain aspects of my life. So hard to overcome, good luck with it

  2. I love this quote Ashly, it is so true... we either let the fear own us or we meet it head on and overcome it... I have been good at this in the past... lately I have let fear own me again.. I need to change that...

  3. This is a great post Ashly, and I think it's great that you're trying to face the fear head on. I suffer with anxiety too - the smallest of things can make me feel so overwhelmed and I sometimes have panic attacks which are a recent and dreadful addition to the already unpleasant anxiety and stress I feel. I think you're right though, address the issues and try your hardest to conquer them, and celebrate the things you do well or overcome. Good luck and stay strong xx


  4. This is a great post love. I have generalised anxiety disorder, but ever since watching a buddhist video in November about accepting and allowing anxiety to pass through you instead of fighting it, I've felt much better. I'm determined to not let it get the better of me and to make my mind and body happy healthy places this year xx

  5. I suffer from anxiety too and find it is always holding me back. I think this is an amazing idea and I wish you the best! I also love the idea of rewarding yourself every time you do something out of your comfort zone- I think I might have to start doing this! Best of luck lovely
    Katie xx

  6. Hi Katie, thanks for your honesty! I am glad you like the idea let me know how u get on xxxx

  7. Hi Rachel, you know you are definitely right.. accepting it rather than fighting it seems to be working better for me too!! Here is to a healthy successful hear!! lots v lovexxx

  8. Hi Kitty, sorry to hear about your panic attacks. You are not alone sweetie! keep in touch :-) xxx

  9. :-) always lovely to hear you thought sweetie!!! face the fear can be difficult but sometimes it is when goodthings happen xx

  10. Love love love this post Ashly, fear and anxiety holds me back massively but it's something I'm trying to conquer daily. But you know what, I've decided to punch fear in the face! I'm officially renaming this month Fearless Feb!
    This post helped me so much, just what I needed to hear today so thank you. It's so good to hear I'm not alone, you're such an inspiration to me and I'm so grateful to have you in my life! xxx

  11. Brilliant Katy! so glad to hear it :-) So sweet of you to say.. lots of love xxxx


I love reading all your comments :-) contact me on twitter @AshlyLondon I would love to chat with you xxx