Why are we all so obsessed with other peoples issues and flaws(in this case their body weight) instead of accepting our own?
Me
I have been thin my whole life. My mother is very thin, her mum is the same way. Yet I have struggled most of my teenage/adult life with others commenting negativity about my appearance.
"What do you eat" "you can't be that slim naturally" "your boobs must be fake" "you are too slim" "you need to eat more".... and the list goes on. All of these comments really upset me and made me think that there was in fact something wrong with the way I looked. Maybe I shouldn't look this way?
It was like they thought I had some huge secret and just wasn't telling... I didn't!
In my experience the people who commented on my appearance seemed to think it was ok to do so because I was slim, yet they wouldn't be saying "you are too fat", "you need to eat less" if it was the other way around. Maybe they wouldn't want to know the secret to being over weight?
I, like any woman, have struggled with who I am and the way I look which includes issues with my weight. Most of these have been linked to how I feel inside and not to do with wanting to be thinner. In fact I have always struggled to put on weight.
But there is a bigger issue here for me...
Because of the way I look people assume I am happy. There have been so many times in my life when I have felt completely the opposite but because of my appearance people struggle to accept that. I have been crying out for help and support yet it has gone unnoticed.
I have gone the other way and stopped wearing make up, stopped doing my hair and wearing nice clothes. Just for people to see how I really felt inside. I realise this is the wrong thing to do. But when I am unhappy I feel like a fraud all dressed up. And I just want to hide and for nobody to notice me.
The secret
I think part of the problem is the image that celebrities promote about this 'secret'. This huge 'secret' to health, success, beauty, youth and happiness. Something that makes them special and different, almost like they are super natural...
It keeps a divide between them and the rest of the world.
Drum roll...
The secret is...
there is no secret!
How annoying is it when you read about a celebrity who was 2 stone heavier last year protesting they eat what they want and haven't been on a diet. You are like 'ok whats their secret?'. But of course it is rubbish. In fact if they told the truth don't you think we would all be a little clearer on reality? Instead we believe that there is some massive secret to being slim or being healthy and because we don't know what it is we aren't as special or as great as them.
Let me tell you something; most celebrities have an abundance of help from chefs to make up artists, dieticians, yoga teachers, beauticians, agents, pr and the list goes on. There is probably more effort put in to their 'image' as there is to their actual work. All to give off this impression of perfection. I don't blame them or anybody else. This is the machine that has been created, it keeps the money coming in, it creates this divide between the 'celebrity world' and the rest of us. Making them appear different, special. And don't we all want to be seen as special?
There seems to be this huge fear that if we all knew that Celebs and movie stars are just the same as you and me, maybe we wouldn't be so interested in their lives. The industry goes to huge lengths to keep 'this secret'.
God forbid we find out that our favourite Hollywood hottie is not perfect!
Imagine that... there are people paid millions of pounds to hide the celebrities flaws; their affairs, their gambling addiction, their drink driving convictions, their father in prison, their eating disorder, their diet, their 6th toe, What ever it may be.
But the truth is we are all the same. None of us are perfect, we are all flawed! No matter how much money is spent concealing them, they are there and always will be..
Our flaws are what make us real, are what make us interesting and are what make us, us!
So lets embrace our flaws. Lets sing from the roof top about our spots, our love handles, our obsessions, our secrets, our hopes, our dreams, our truth!
Maybe if we do this we won't feel so much pressure and stress to appear perfect...
I know it isn't easy, in fact it is surprisingly difficult to just admit... I am flawed! But there it is people... the truth and do you know what? I feel so much better for saying it :-)
Love and happiness
Ashly xxxxxx
