Friday, 9 November 2012

My top 5 tips on getting throught a break up!

Breaking up can be one of the hardest times in our lives.  It is something that most of us have been through and it can be tough... very tough!!

There can be times when you may feel scared, sad, angry, and lonely - Especially if you were use to being with somebody most of the time.

So I have composed a little list of tips which have helped me through tough times... And perhaps maybe will help you too :-)

5. Space
You need space to yourself to process what has happened.  Some people need a little some people need a lot. Make sure those around you are respecting your need for space. Sometimes friends or family can get annoyed if they are use to seeing you at certain times or on certain days and suddenly you don't want to go or don't want to talk.  But try not to worry about pleasing other people at this time. It is very important that when you need space you take it. Hopefully those around you will respect your choices and support you but not everybody will understand what is going on with you. Remember people aren't mind readers so getting annoyed at your sister/mum/bff because you are upset and they aren't there for you maybe a little hint to let them know you are feeling down will do the trick.

Going for a walk in a quiet spot is a great way to get space and reflect. Try turning off your phone for 15 minutes, take that time to yourself to just be present and at peace. Or even try yoga (this has been a life saver for me).

4. Support
It is very helpful to have a good support system around you. This can be a very tough time for you and it can be difficult to get through it all on your own.  Whether it be friends, family, a councellor. Having somebody to talk to can help you process your thoughts and feelings.  Even a short text to let somebody know you are feeling down can make you feel less alone and more supported.

3. Stay Away
Perhaps try to keep away from stalking your ex on facebook. Looking at photos, seeing what they are up to, who they are hanging out with could be detrimental to you.  I can't think of a time when a friend has told me about doing this and felt good or happy about it.  Best to stay away and concentrate on yourself and what you are up to rather than somebody else.

2. Listen and be kind
Listen to yourself. What are your body and emotions telling you. Do you need space, do you need a good girly night in, a massage? It can be difficult to work out what you need at certain times but if you are suddenly feeling angry or sad over what appears small stop for a moment, take some deep breaths and ask yourself what is going on with me, what is it that I need?  It could be something as simple as a manicure or to sit with a book for 20 minutes and zone out. But be kind to yourself, give yourself a break now and again. Treat yourself to a massage or a facial.  Every girl likes to be pampered and now, especially, you deserve it!

1. Time and Patience
Ultimately as the saying goes time is a healer. I believe this is thoroughly true. While the memories and feelings may remain, they can change and the pain you once felt upon reflection may seem completely different 6 months to a year later.  Allow yourself this time to heal. It can take a long time so be patient with yourself. It is a process. I know it can be frustrating feeling all these wild emotions but things will get easier. It can be up and down and may be a long road but you can get through it, millions of ladies all over the world are too feeling the effects of a break up so lets all get together and give ourselves and each other the love and support we need!!

All opinions are my own based on my own experiences. I am not an expert, I am not a psychologist just a girl who has been through heart break.

If you feel very bad or like you can't cope perhaps seek help from your doctor or see any of the links below

Much Love and happiness, Ashly x

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