Tuesday, 8 July 2014

I can't wear that... My man doesn't like it

Over the past few weeks I have started to notice something which I want to discuss.  Over and over again I am hearing things like, oh I need to check with my husband first, my boyfriend doesn't like me in skinny jeans, I can't go there my husband wouldn't like it, I can't do that my husband says it is a bad idea and he says I don't have enough time, my boyfriend says I shouldn't wear pink lipstick.



 




Maybe this isn't anything new, it is just that I have started to notice it.  Of course when you are in a relationship you share and discuss big decisions, taking each others feelings in to consideration.  But in this instance I am referring to smaller/non life changing things... Do you really need approval over a pair of shoes?


It has left me wondering... are some of us women so concerned about pleasing our other halves that we are ok with loosing our own identities and opinions?


Maybe it is a lack of confidence? Is it that some don't trust our own choices and judgements? For me what I wear is my own decision, sure I would take advice now and again but I would never not buy something because a significant other told me not to... In fact I wouldn't even be with somebody who told me not to do something.





When I hear ladies say such things it makes me uneasy.  Perhaps because I have been in that situation, where I allowed another's opinions to overcome my own... that is somewhere I will never EVER go again.  Because guess what? It didn't make me happy, it might have made the other person happy but why would you want to be with somebody who is happy drowning you out? 




I wish somebody had said to me, Ashly get some balls (excuse the pun)... What the F are you doing?  I suppose I was young (well that's my excuse).




Because if something makes YOU happy that person should support you. Isn't that what relationships are about?  Support and encouraging each other to grow?




So here is me saying to anybody who needs it... Get some balls! Make your own choices, live a little and no matter what,  don't quieten your own inner voice!! It is there for a reason, so use it ;-) (that goes for men as well as women)


I will leave you with words from the amazing late great Nora Ephron...






I would love to hear your thoughts on this? Does this resonate with you or sound like somebody you know?


Lots of love  Ash xxxx

5 comments:

  1. This resonates with me... I was in this situation once and I lost my voice. I will never lose it again... I would stand up for myself and I too would never be in that situation again...

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  2. Well said, I couldn't have put this better myself.


    Keli | kelskurls.blogspot.com xx

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  3. Love this post, you are completely right it ps awful to here woman that can't make decisions about simple things. I think it's easy to get caught up in a relationship but you do want to scream at these woman are you happy, why are you letting him push you around
    Lauren
    livinginaboxx

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  4. I know.. I think it is just sad! everyone has a voice :-)

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  5. I have heard a few of my friends say similar things. Whether its their bf's trying to change what they wear or how much makeup they wear. I honestly think you should always stay true to yourself and if you like wearing certain outfits and makeup--then DO IT! Even my bf has made comments how he likes me with less makeup--and that is good to know--but it won't stop me from doing what I love most lol. I do take it into consideration on date nights and such. I do looks that are more natural because he likes that. But if we go out or go to weddings/events--you can be damn sure I will wear whatever I want lol ;) life isn't fun pretending to be something you aren't!

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